My Digital Diet

Ah, connectivity. What a wondrous thing. For the better part of the last two years I've been a slave to my computer. Anxiously signing in to my school site, chatting with friends, updating my status with sometimes witty (sometimes not) blurbs. I have loved that feeling of connection, the belonging.

Belonging? Did I just say that?

What garbage.

For years I convinced myself that my little email blurbs back and forth with my folks was enough. That we had a good relationship. Well you know what? It wasn't enough. And there are just some things that you don't get do over’s on.

I have dear friends whom I only really get a chance to keep up with via the net. And really it is a blessing. But, seriously, it's a curse, too. We communicate in these little context-less, desensitized, sterile (oh wait! there are smilies and emoticons, they're not really sterile!) status updates and IMs and we think we're maintaining a friendship.

Well, not so much.

When the shit hits the fan. It's not the cyber friends who come hold your hand at the airport.

I’m tired of having to defend myself to people I don’t know, just because I want to feel like I “belong” somewhere. I DO belong somewhere- home, soon at my new job, here in my community, with my family, with my friends. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it or not, but people on the internet can be mean and nasty and catty and downright rude. And you know what?

I am not going to play that game right now.

My Dad died. My husband is deploying for the next seven months. My kids play sports and have jam packed social and athletic calendars (as kids should!). I have a wonderful new job to start next Monday. I’ve got enough stress and demand in my life for about three people.

So, I’m giving up things that don’t add value to my life.

I’m going on a digital diet.

I will still blog- it’s cathartic. But, with that rare exception- I’m giving myself permission to step away from the computer.

When my Dad died he left a giant hole in my heart and in my life. But, he also sent me a giant wake up call- don’t just rely on the quick little emails to keep in touch with the people you love. Quit bitching about not getting to see people or never hearing from them- MAKE IT HAPPEN.

So, my dear friends I will try to call more often and write real letters and send pictures and all that other stuff that keeps us close.

And my dear, dear family- David and Kathryn, this summer is ours. We may not have Daddy around to keep us entertained but we’ve got each other, and we’re going to have a great few months. And for Mom, Sarah, Benj and all of your beautiful families- you guys better look out! We’re coming to visit.